Stop Performing On Dates. Start Showing Up
Once a week I send The Overlap, one honest note on dating for men who want something real and the women who are looking for those men. Subscribe to start receiving practical dating insights.
The Overlap Issue 3 - I upgraded my job. My dating didn't notice.
This one starts with a night drive home from a full-day date in the city with my date. We were in my car, which I was proud to drive but which I didn't consider flashy. When I first started dating, I worked in a technical role at a small company nobody had heard of. I considered that a possible dating deficiency. If she hadn't heard of the company, how would she know I made a decent living and had my finances handled? The car didn't help my case either. It was nice enough, but it was into its...
The Overlap, Issue 2 - The date I'd already spent over text
I'd like to start with a quick story about something I experienced when dating. This one starts at a coffee shop, with me sitting across from a woman I had texted with for weeks before finally asking her to meet in person. We hugged, sat down with our coffee, and I hit a wall about ten minutes in. I’d thought of a question to ask her. Then I remembered I’d already asked it over text, days earlier, and her answer had turned into a genuinely funny exchange. So instead of the question, I brought...
The Overlap Issue 1 - I used to ask questions just to stall
For the first stretch of my dating life, I asked questions for a bad reason. I wasn’t curious. I was buying time. I’d tell a story that made me look good. Then the second I ran out of material, I’d turn a question on her so I could reload and think of the next thing to say about myself. Her answers were the gap where I caught my breath. Then I read something that rewired it. A guy is on a plane next to a woman he finds attractive. The whole flight, he keeps asking her better and better...
Once a week I send The Overlap, one honest note on dating for men who want something real and the women who are looking for those men. Subscribe to start receiving practical dating insights.